The Longest Fall (The Whisper Lake Series Book 1) Read online

  “I don’t care about the house. I care about you.”

  Her heart went still for a second, as if unsure of what to do. She stood there, reeling inside at his confession. She knew it didn’t mean anything—that it was the kind of thing people said to each other—but she was on emotional overload right now, unable to filter things the way she normally would have.

  Maybe if he let go of her, she could find some sense rattling around in her brain. But while he held her, every synapse she possessed was busy sorting through a surplus of sensory detail and heightened emotions.

  Fantasies didn’t come true every day, so she wasn’t equipped to handle such things.

  “I care about you, too.” The words popped out before she had time to weigh them.

  His smile widened into something real. It was the first smile she’d seen on him since coming here, and knowing that she’d put it there made her feel glorious. Powerful.

  “Now that we have that out of the way, how about you tell me what’s got you avoiding me all day.”

  What to say? The truth was out of the question, but she had to give him something. He wasn’t just going to let it drop. Not Mark.

  “I was worried about what happened last night. About how it would make you feel to face me this morning.”

  He frowned. “What do you mean? I realize I was a weakling for taking you up on your offer for comfort, but—”

  “Not a weakling. Never that. I just mean that you’ve been alone so long that waking up with a woman—with me—had to have made you feel…something.” Like he’d cheated. Like she was a slut for dragging him into her bed. Like they’d somehow pissed on Janey’s grave.

  She couldn’t voice any of those fears, so she said what she could. “I was worried that you’d be upset with me, and I really didn’t want to face that. So I hid.”

  His smile evaporated. He let her go and backed up, his mouth tight. “I’m not upset with you. You did what you thought was right. It’s all any of us can do.”

  “Then why are you looking at me like that?”

  “Like what?”

  “Like I was right to be worried. You are upset.”

  His gaze slid to the window behind her. “I’m going to make some lunch. Come down when you’re hungry.”

  With that, he left the room, taking all that glistening pleasure he’d given her with him.

  ★★★

  Mark had forgotten. For one brief moment, his thoughts hadn’t been consumed with Janey. There had been no rage, no grief, no pain.

  Just Daisy. Not Janey. Daisy.

  Guilt swelled in his chest until there was little room for his heart to beat. Nausea and fury churned in his stomach as he slapped together sandwiches he had no intention of eating. But Daisy had to eat, and it had been the only excuse he could think of to flee that wouldn’t hurt her feelings.

  And he really didn’t want to hurt Daisy. He’d already hurt so many people he cared about. His sister being at the top of that list.

  Another layer of guilt fell over him like molten lead, burning him up and slowing his movements. Today had been one of the easiest he’d had in months, and it was all because he’d forgotten about Janey for a little while.

  It was Daisy’s doing. She gave him something else to think about—a distraction from the grinding pain that had become his habit. Intellectually, he knew that he was supposed to get better with time and move on with his life, but he couldn’t stand the thought of doing it at the cost of forgetting the woman he loved.

  Remembering her was the only thing he could do to keep some part of her alive.

  Mark didn’t know how to do this—he didn’t know how to feel better without abandoning Janey. He wasn’t even sure he deserved to feel better. Not after what he’d done, leaving her to die alone.

  Daisy’s footsteps sounded on the steps, making the old boards creak. Panic gripped him at her approach. He couldn’t face her right now—not knowing that she was at least partially responsible for his forgetting. As black as his mood was, he wasn’t sure he could control himself and not take his frustration and anger out on her.

  She didn’t deserve that, so rather than risk hurting her, he slipped out the back door, grabbed his ax and tossed it in the back of his truck along with a chainsaw. The site where the last spring storm had felled a couple of trees was on the far side of the acreage—just enough distance to keep Daisy from finding him. Maybe after a few hours of swinging an ax he’d feel civilized again. And if not, he’d sleep in his truck, with Daisy safely out of reach of his anger.

  Chapter Six

  When the sun started to set, Daisy began to worry about Mark.

  She knew she’d hit a nerve today, and he’d always been the kind of person who preferred to go off alone to deal with things. But in his current state of mind, she worried just how far he’d go or if he’d come back at all.

  Part of her wanted to sit tight and let him work things out. The rest of her felt responsible for driving him away and needed to fix it. The only problem was, if she went after him, she might push him away even farther.

  It took all of her willpower to wait for him to return in his own time. While she waited, she kept working, using the generator to power work lights so she could keep going.

  The wiring was old and had to go, but the structure of the house was better than she’d thought at first sight. There was little dry rot inside, and most of that Mark had already replaced with pale, new boards. The roof leaks were minor, and while new shingles were a must, the tarps he’d strung up were keeping everything inside dry for now. A few more days of hard work, some plumbing repairs, new wiring—something she did every day as an electrician—and a new layer of drywall, and the upstairs would be completely livable.

  Maybe then she could leave here and feel better knowing that at least Mark was living in a structurally stable home with electricity and water. He needed a refrigerator stocked with food so that he could gain back some of the weight he’d lost.

  She could still remember the hard ridges of his chest and abs, now lacking any fat to obscure the muscles. All that animal strength was a beautiful sight, but his unnatural leanness was more proof that he wasn’t taking care of himself out here.

  Headlights splashed across a window. Mark was home.

  Her heart squeezed hard with excitement. The mere idea of seeing him again thrilled her.

  She set down the coil of electrical wire she’d been running and hurried to greet him. Before she reached the stairway, she stopped in her tracks.

  She was not some young schoolgirl rushing to meet her date. This was Mark. He didn’t belong to her in any way. And he wasn’t happy with her.

  Daisy stayed with her feet planted until her heart slowed and her hands stopped shaking. She had to play it cool. Keep her feelings for him hidden. If she did something wrong and he freaked out again, he might really force her to leave this time.

  Or leave himself and never come back. He’d already done it once—leaving Whisper Lake to come to a remote farm hours away from everyone he knew. She wouldn’t put it past him not to do the same thing again if she pushed too hard. And maybe this time he wouldn’t tell anyone where he went.

  With slow, measured steps, she made her way out to his truck. He’d parked it with the tailgate right up against the porch. The field stones were all gone now, and in their place was a brand new water heater.

  He stepped onto the porch and opened the tailgate. He gave her a brief nod of greeting, but that was all. He wasn’t angry or upset. He seemed like his old self.

  She wanted to ask him what prompted this purchase when he seemed so disinclined to make the house livable, but worried she might ruin his motivation for fixing the place.

  As he started to move the heater, she rushed forward. “Let me help.”

  “That’s okay. I’m just going to set it here on the porch until we’re ready for it. That’ll keep it out of the storm that’s supposed to come tonight.”

  She watched him e
ase the big box onto the porch, then walk it to an area where the boards were sturdy enough to hold the weight. As he did, the muscles in his arms and back flexed beneath his T-shirt in a mouthwatering display of masculine strength.

  Daisy tried to look away, but was too hypnotized by the show to do more than drool.

  Mark caught her watching and an odd look crossed his face. “Are you okay?”

  She nodded, searching for something to say that wouldn’t give away just how much she wished she could run her hands over his naked body and mark his flesh as her own personal territory.

  “What storm?” she finally managed to ask, though her voice was far too husky with desire.

  “Typical spring storm.”

  “Tornadoes?”

  “Not supposed to be, but I also got a weather radio and batteries, just in case. I wouldn’t want any surprises while you’re here.”

  She noticed that he hadn’t seemed as concerned with his own wellbeing as hers, but she let it slide. “That was smart.”

  He brightened at her praise. “I got something else, too.”

  He hopped off the porch and opened the passenger door of his pickup. In his hands was a bundle of towels wrapped around something. “I covered it up so it would stay hot, but the drive was pretty long. It might still be cold.”

  “What?”

  He opened the towels like some kind of magician to reveal a red and white box. “Pizza.”

  She moaned in delight and her stomach growled in agreement. “I love you so much right now.”

  The words escaped her mouth before she had time to filter them. Luckily, Mark had no idea just how true they were. He simply grinned.

  “Let’s eat before it gets any colder.”

  She used the excuse to turn away from him before he could get close enough to see the truth of her love in her eyes—and that it was for far more than just pizza.

  They devoured the whole pizza while sitting on the dusty floor in comfortable silence. When she was full, she gave him a rundown what she’d accomplished while he was away.

  He swallowed a bite. “You certainly know how to knock out the work.”

  She chuckled at that. “Remember all those summers we worked together for Dad’s construction company? He didn’t let any of us—his kids or not—get away with slacking on the job.”

  A faint grin played along his mouth at the memory. “All you Grace kids learned to swing a hammer as soon as you were out of diapers.”

  She shrugged. “It’s family tradition to work for Grace Construction, though I think Dad and Uncle Doug kept us kids busy so we’d stay out of trouble.” Mark and several other local boys had worked right beside the Grace kids, sweating and learning as if they were one of the clan. She’d secretly loved being on the same job site as Mark, watching his youthful muscles glowing with sweat in the sunshine. Not that she would have ever told Dad about her crush. He would have freaked out about her being with a boy three years older than she was and made sure they were never put on the same job again.

  “You’re no slouch yourself,” she said.

  While her forte was electrical, and she’d branched out to start her own company, there was nothing she or Mark didn’t know how to do when it came to basic remodeling and construction.

  “Why are you just now getting around to putting in hot water?” she finally asked.

  He shrugged as he picked up another slice of pizza. He’d eaten more than half of it, and she was glad to see him not slowing down yet. He needed the calories with all the physical labor he was doing.

  “Didn’t seem that important before now, but I hate the idea of you freezing your ass off just to get clean.”

  So he had been willing to suffer, but wasn’t okay with her doing the same. It made her wonder if he was still blaming himself for Janey’s accident.

  Rather than ask him such a sensitive question, she asked, “How much plumbing repair do we need to do before we hook it up?”

  “The kitchen pipes are shot, but the previous owner said the bathroom was redone a few years ago.”

  “The pipes are loud.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t mind. It’s an old house. It should have some character.”

  “I can install the new electrical panel tomorrow. It will take time to finish wiring the whole house, but we could have hot water by the end of the week.”

  He closed his eyes as if daydreaming. “I can’t even remember what it feels like to have a hot shower.”

  Daisy’s heart broke for him all over again. How much did he have to hate himself to live in these conditions when he had so many other options? He’d had a good job before Janey’s death, and a modest but nice house he’d sold. He wasn’t poor and didn’t have to live like this. Still, he’d spent the winter here, freezing, when there were dozens of people in Whisper Lake who would gladly have opened their doors to him.

  She cleared her throat twice before she could speak. “I’m almost certain you’ll get the hang of hot showers again soon enough.”

  He finished off the last of the pizza and brushed his hands. “Are you ready to call it a night?”

  She was exhausted, but she knew if she closed her eyes, all her focus would be on Mark and the feel of him wrapping his arms around her.

  “It’s still early. I think I’ll keep going for a while.”

  He stood with the easy grace of a man used to sitting on the floor, and offered her a hand up.

  She knew it was a mistake, but the need to feel him touch her again overruled her good sense.

  She put her hand in his, soaking in the warmth and strength of it. He pulled her up onto her feet, and the sheer power of his touch left her dizzy.

  Daisy swayed slightly.

  Mark reacted instantly. A bleak look of fear crossed his face. His thick arms wrapped around her. The next thing she knew, she was off of her feet and he was easing her to the floor.

  “What’s wrong?” he demanded, his tone strained. “Did you get hurt today?”

  He palpated her scalp before she could gather her wits enough to answer him.

  “I’m fine. Nothing happened.”

  “I saw you sway.”

  She couldn’t admit that it was his touch that made her head spin, but she couldn’t let him think that something was wrong with her, either. He was way too freaked out for her not to give him some excuse. “Just a little head rush. I needed to eat more than I realized.”

  He didn’t seem convinced. His hands kept going in their quest to find whatever he thought had caused her little bout of dizziness.

  She let him touch her, though she wasn’t sure if it was more for his benefit or her own. Either way, she loved the feel of his hands sliding over her far too much for a woman determined to keep her years-long attraction hidden.

  She couldn’t stop the shivers he roused from her.

  “You’re shaking. It’s too damn cold in here, isn’t it?” he asked.

  “I’m fine. Really.”

  His fingers stroked her face with such gentle care, she could almost pretend that he loved her.

  As sweet as the fantasy was, it was just that—a fantasy. She could not get swept away by something that would only destroy her once it was taken away.

  She had to put some space between them.

  He still cradled her in one arm. The hot wall of his chest held her steady. She could smell the scent of the surrounding woods on his skin, along with the deeper, more intriguing fragrance that was all his own.

  He stared at her, his blue eyes brighter than they’d been when she’d first seen him. Grief still haunted his features, but the lines were softer now.

  If nothing else, she’d given him a distraction from his sadness, and for that alone, she was glad she’d come.

  “I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he said as his grip around her tightened.

  His physical strength vibrated through his hold, but it was his force of will that shocked her. His expression was one of utter determination. Fierce
and unwavering.

  “I promise I’m fine.” She reached up and settled her hand on his cheek in an effort to reassure him. But the second her chilly fingers touched his cheek, she knew it had been a mistake.

  Touching him made him feel like hers. It made her heart ache for all the things she wanted with him but could never have. Love, marriage, babies…they were silly, girlish dreams, but ones she couldn’t shake. Especially when he held her like she was the most precious treasure on the face of the planet.

  Like he never wanted to let her go.

  She stared at his mouth, wishing she could have one kiss with him—just to see if reality could possibly live up to her fantasies.

  His lips were full and sharply defined. There were no more smile lines like he’d had when they were younger—before Janey’s death—but he still had the sexiest mouth on any man, ever.

  What she wouldn’t have given to see him smile again, hear him laugh. He had the greatest laugh—full and deep, coming all the way from his soul. It was infectious and musical, leaving everyone who heard it happier.

  As she kept staring, he grew self-conscious and licked lips. “Crumbs?”

  She had to grit her teeth to keep from following the path he’d laid with her own tongue. She imagined he would taste as good as he smelled and feel even better.

  Just the thought was enough to give her a hot, tingly feeling in her pussy.

  She really should have brought her vibrator with her. Maybe if she got off a few times, she’d be able to look at him without wondering how his mouth would feel gliding over her neck or suckling her nipples. Then lower, between her thighs….

  As the image bloomed in her mind, her breasts ached and her nipples hardened and tingled beneath her shirt.

  She could still remember the way he’d stared at her when he’d seen her in her bra. There had been lust riding his features, even if he hadn’t wanted to admit it, even to himself.

  Maybe if she kissed him, if she seduced him, it would be good for him. Heaven knew she wanted it.